First Day Back

This is way too much stress right after holiday season. I can't handle my life right now. It's so wacko. There's that one stage in your life where you being to think.. A LOT. My sister told me it ends somewhere in your twenties. I have a few more years until I get outta that weird stage.. So anyway, I can't seem to manage skating/school/life/music/work and all those other things important in my life. Let's think on mathematical terms.. A day is 24 hours, multiplied by 60 is 1,440 minutes a day-I think. I sleep about 8 hours of that, so 8 multiplied by 60 is 480? Subtract 1,440 from 480 is 960 minutes for me to spare a day. Six hours are occupied by school, but weekends don't count-work. So.. 6 multiplied by 60 is 360 minutes, meaning 600 free minutes besides school. I have about 3000 FREE MINUTES a week-weekends don't count. I'm always busy with work/skate practice. I want to quit, but I'm not sure if I can give up what I've always known. My wall is plastered in pictures and medals and plaques, and if I give that up (which is a part of me), who will I be? Will I still be me? I cannot give up my cello and drums-it's what I absolutely love to do. I've transitioned between so many instruments in my childhood, it's taken me forever to settle on my cello and the drums-there's no way I'm giving that up! I have a skating competition in less than 2 weeks. I can't do it. I simply can't. I haven't gone to practice during winter break. Life has exhausted me. I wake up feeling sore and drowsy as heck-just from the stress of family problems and thinking. I wish I could just let loose and be happy-live the rest of my teenage year. I just want to go SCREW IT right now, and run away to Alaska or something. I wish life were like that. Mess up, pick up and take it to another area and settle. I should get into the witness protection program or something, haha. I'm dreaming again. Screw reality. I need to learn Eye of the Tiger with Brandon Cordova (who is my partner in crime. aka. quad player #1). I don't think I can learn it by the time of the parade next month-even worse, football is taking up all my time, I can't visit the music room if I'm in the middle of a game! I need to choose. First day back and yet life's stress has taken it's toll. I liked disappearing during the break. Where's my time to party with my friends and take car rides at night, and get drunk and all that shit (not that I want to, just stating my point) like all those other teenagers?! Where's my sense of letting loose?! Must get that fucking A.. that's what I always have to do. For now, it seems like that's all to life.

At Jenny's

What is there to do on the night of New Years at 9:42 PM?

let's think about that one...

2010, A New Year-Start Anew

It's been a very long while since I've been on this thing since Tumblr has emerged. I've read my older posts and I just realized how ignorant I was in the past. I became so sad for a guy? THAT'S INSANE. I have a better outlook on life now, a more mature, less weepy. Yeah, I'm going to be very happy and not let things get in the way of my school life-maintain GRADES, orchestra, band, drumline and skating too, but that's not part of school. So anyway, I've been spending probably a month watching this person's Youtube videos. You may or may not know him, but he is the infamous AJ Rafael! Okay, I just contradicted myself. Anyway, I was on his blogspot earlier, and it reminded me of how I neglected my blogspot! SORRY BABY! -pats the screen- Alrighty, I'm going to get my video camera back from my uncle and then do a Hey There Tiffany for her birthday! Maybe Happy by Leona Lewis for Veronica, she needs to lighten up a little. As for boys, I am a little bit over the whole boy dramarama, although there are some really hard choices for me-BUT ANYWAY! I'm over all that. I have a lot of things to focus on. I also have to achieve my life long goal of being in DNA Forensics some where down the road of life. School is my main priority right now, as well as music along with my skating-which there is Gold Skate in Fresno which takes place in February, and a very important competition to me where I do all events of A, B, and C. Also known as: Progressive Tango and two other dances that I really cannot think of right now. So anyway, It's NEW YEARS! I watched Alvin and The Chipmunks Squeakquel last night, it was INCREDIBLE! On the way home, my sister and I counted down to the radio in the car and screamed out the window to passing cars. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!