First Day Back

This is way too much stress right after holiday season. I can't handle my life right now. It's so wacko. There's that one stage in your life where you being to think.. A LOT. My sister told me it ends somewhere in your twenties. I have a few more years until I get outta that weird stage.. So anyway, I can't seem to manage skating/school/life/music/work and all those other things important in my life. Let's think on mathematical terms.. A day is 24 hours, multiplied by 60 is 1,440 minutes a day-I think. I sleep about 8 hours of that, so 8 multiplied by 60 is 480? Subtract 1,440 from 480 is 960 minutes for me to spare a day. Six hours are occupied by school, but weekends don't count-work. So.. 6 multiplied by 60 is 360 minutes, meaning 600 free minutes besides school. I have about 3000 FREE MINUTES a week-weekends don't count. I'm always busy with work/skate practice. I want to quit, but I'm not sure if I can give up what I've always known. My wall is plastered in pictures and medals and plaques, and if I give that up (which is a part of me), who will I be? Will I still be me? I cannot give up my cello and drums-it's what I absolutely love to do. I've transitioned between so many instruments in my childhood, it's taken me forever to settle on my cello and the drums-there's no way I'm giving that up! I have a skating competition in less than 2 weeks. I can't do it. I simply can't. I haven't gone to practice during winter break. Life has exhausted me. I wake up feeling sore and drowsy as heck-just from the stress of family problems and thinking. I wish I could just let loose and be happy-live the rest of my teenage year. I just want to go SCREW IT right now, and run away to Alaska or something. I wish life were like that. Mess up, pick up and take it to another area and settle. I should get into the witness protection program or something, haha. I'm dreaming again. Screw reality. I need to learn Eye of the Tiger with Brandon Cordova (who is my partner in crime. aka. quad player #1). I don't think I can learn it by the time of the parade next month-even worse, football is taking up all my time, I can't visit the music room if I'm in the middle of a game! I need to choose. First day back and yet life's stress has taken it's toll. I liked disappearing during the break. Where's my time to party with my friends and take car rides at night, and get drunk and all that shit (not that I want to, just stating my point) like all those other teenagers?! Where's my sense of letting loose?! Must get that fucking A.. that's what I always have to do. For now, it seems like that's all to life.